God is telling me i'm going to die.

I'm not a man who believes in prophecies or much of any type of supernatural. But I am someone who can eventually take a hint. I will now provide my evidence that I will die by being hit by a car.

1: I cross a street on my way to work. Street is a bit of an understatement. It is pretty much a highway without fences. rt 114 in peabody/danvers. 4 lanes separated by a passing lane in the middle that smells of death-trap. I have to run across two lanes, pause in the death trap, then run across two more, it's pretty much a real-life game of frogger. So when I had a dream of me standing between two sets of opposing train tracks then getting crushed when trying to cross the second set, it did leave me mildly uneasy.

2: Pisces horoscope: You've learned a few things in your life, but as you'll soon see, looking both ways before crossing the street isn't one of them.
3: There was a fucking dead animal in the street exactly in the spot I typically cross every day. (see below for tales of roadkill)

So yeah. Picing these parts of compelling evidence together, I have come to one conclusion. Me and a car will collide, and it will not be fun. So when I am killed by vehicle, just remember, I fucking KNEW IT.

War.

Because I can.

So today marks a new era. An era where I have become THIS fucking bored. That being said, I will now grace this piece of shit with a small story.

Burial at sea, via roadkill:

What do these two things have in common? At first sight, not very much. Roads and seas being about as close to opposites as one can get. However, both methods of kitten death have similer results. I'm fucking serious! Take the burial at sea. Some mentally damaged and tear ridden teenager/single mom is sprinkling one of her 17 beloved felines ashes in the sea, with hopes that the currents will bring him to distant lands. How cute, though very unlikely.

Instead we get the more realistic situation of every tire that smashes poor fluffys body into the pavement takes a little piece of him with it, taking him to new and exciting driveways.

As i've recently and untentionally discovered, roadkill takes a good amount of time to vanish entirely, depending on how many cars travel the road, and depending on if theY managed to crawl out of the middle too. Why, a good solid hit can get hundreds of cars to participate. Just imagine how many places kitty will get to visit because of this?

Moral of the story: When your pets get old, have some mercy. Drop them into the middle of the fucking highway.